I know none of y’all were wondering where I was missing. I nearly died and wrote another story. But that shit don’t matter right now.
So a week back, I was browsing Roblox after abandoning it in 2019 due to its sad downfall.
(Citation: I’m being a nostalgia whore)
I logged on my account for the same reason most adolescents log; to reminisce on all the good times when they had no right to pretend they had responsibility, as well the times when they had no right to contribute to anything besides playing with their toys (and still don’t).
I log on, browse my avatar to see what fashion I left my adopted child with. I go to the hats tab and see this:
The only way I can boil down my reaction to this was:
I could not believe my eyes. I never spent any money on Roblox, and suddenly I had tons of limited items in my account. Items that were worth ROBUX, on a completely free-to-play account. I was a mor-billionaire in the making.
Mor-billionaire meaning a billionaire, but more!
“Is this what dumb investments exploding into cash feels like? Is this how NFT holders feel?” I thought to myself, like the narrative driven body of mind I am.
To explain what I’m talking about, Roblox has been a games platform since 2006, and uses a currency called Robux. With Robux, you can buy items for your avatar.
Besides the regular priced cosmetics, there’s a separate category of items called “limiteds”. As the name implies, they are items released in small amounts for a small period of time, and technically get “off sale” officially. There’s also items obtained through events for completely free! (most of the time)
For some reason, a lot of these event items became limited at some point, specifically items from their “Egg Hunt” lineups.
The result of this is me having an account actually worth a bit of Robux, despite me not spending a single dollar, euro or Laotian Kip on it.
I’d like to interrupt the boring bit again to provide a uhh…
Sentence of silence…
for the death of the Egg Hunts since 2020, and with that my childhood…
(just pretend the empty lines depict silence)
ANYWAY
With that said, it is time for my economist arc to begin.
Let’s talk about how much money I could potentially earn from this if I play my cards right.
Exhibit A: Brainfreeze
As the graph for one of the items indicate, it seems to be at a relatively stable pace. This egg was obtained during the 2020 Egg Hunt and seems like a good price to sell on. Problem is that this egg is ugly as all hell, so no one wants it. That’s why it seems to have stabilized in its value. Everyone has it, no one cares.
Now consider:
Exhibit B: Birthday
Part of the Fedora branch of hats, the party fedora was given for free during Roblox’s 13th anniversary in 2019 through a code. The value is very slowly rising, evident by the graph. It was 125 Robux when I last checked compared to now.
A considerably big jump in value, indicating that it is a rather desirable item. Makes sense, considering it is a fedora, which usually cost 10 times or more.
Exhibit C: Despair
An egg from 2019 (4 years ago), referencing the Despacito Spider meme. A cancerous classic, with quite a few peaks in value seemingly every month. If I find the perfect few days like it’s a menstrual cycle graph, I could potentially earn at least 200 Robux from it.
You might’ve noticed from a lot of these items, is that they have absurd price peaks at the very beginning, that very quickly stabilize over the coming months.
Indeed, I noticed something very fishy going on when I looked at the reseller’s lists:
Certain users seem to be reselling items multiple times. It seems like a method to artificially inflate the price so that others think the value is rising, causing them to cave in and buy out. Classic pump and dump scheme! (Or whatever undecipherable jargon investors love to use.)
I have to keep this in mind or I’ll get p’UNKED.
With all the data I’ve collected, the only conclusion I can draw is that it can either all be collectively worth 1 (one) Robux, or become the next dominus lineup, being worth millions of Robux. Either way, that’ll still be a profit of infinity%.
So, totaling the current value overall, I have around 1800 Robux. Great! And by converting it, I’ll have…
22 Dollars…
I believe every good investor cashes out at least once in his lifetime, and I shall do the same as I believe the value has peaked. All I have to do is resell it and-
Yeah pop off, minor issue however:
Oh. I guess my investor arc of Jefferson ends immediately where it started.
Moral of the story is: There are no morals with economics! Kill your local politic-
